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Couch sloucher
Off the Wall
Nov. 5, 2009
I was talking to a friend on the phone the other
day when we happened to chance upon a topic of buying furniture.
He told me that he recently had purchased quite a bit of new
stuff to fill the apartment where he had recently moved.
Some weeks back, he told me how excited he was when
he not only found a store that carried what he was looking for,
but discovered the prices accommodating to his budget as well.
"The wonderful thing," he explained, "is that
the delivery people worked their schedule around mine, so I didn't
have to lose any work. A matter of fact, they came first thing
in the morning, and that was great!"
So, what does one do after getting a truckload of
chairs, tables, a sofa, and lounge chair, etc., unpack,
and position the items in the proper order. When there are two
people making decisions, sometimes it's to one's advantage, sometime
not, if you know what I mean. This was one gentleman, in one
apartment who lived by himself. There was only one word to describe
that situation simplification. Got the picture? So did
he, so you can figure, it wasn't long, with a little bit of effort,
he had everything in place.
As we got to talkin', something occurred to both
of us. Everyone has heard of the 30-day trial program or money-back
deals that are sweeping America. People will go into car dealerships
and with the salesman, take the vehicle around the block for
a spin. And certainly one has heard the saying, "We will
stand beside our product 100%. If you do not like it, we will
refund your full amount upon request."
All these comments sound familiar, don't they?
Well, this guy and I decided there has to be one
more. "Come to our store and sleep on our furniture. If
you like it, buy it. If you wake up with a back ache or your
neck feels out of joint, move on to another couch." Maybe
the retailer could come up with a new slogan:
"Rest and test and see which is the best!"
Now, I know there would have to be some rules here.
First, the owner of the store must be assured that
the customer intends to purchase one of the couches he has displayed
in his showroom.
Second, one cannot sleep consecutive nights. Somehow,
I don't think it would be good strategy. The customer would probably
have to visit his favorite chiropractor to get an adjustment
before returning to the showroom of the dealer. After all,
it is a known fact among most couch slouchers that ones' heads
do not rest comfortably on certain armrests.- I have seen pictures
of some guys (and yes, some of you gals, too) stretched out on
the three-seaters in the weirdest positions.
And it's not only the couches that cause the problems.
I'm sure you have seen those soft, leather chairs that suck you
in once you place your posterior on the pillow. Heck, it looks
simple enough when you approach it. But when you plunk your bod
down in the middle of that custom, comfy configuration, you can
no longer pray, "Lead me not into temptation," brother,
you are there. Talk about those walls of Jericho come tumbling
down. As soon as you start going down, I don't care which side
you look, those armrests have turned into chin rests instead.
Did you ever hear the story of Bad-Back Bertha?
This hefty, young lady had no trouble plopping into soft chairs.
But she knew, as well as her friends and relatives, that there
was no getting out without her back going also. Often she had
to sleep there until the next morning when two hired men had
to pick up the back of the chair and literally roll her out.
Not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.
OK, retailers, possibly you and your customers could
work out something. Here's one. Maybe you could have a married
couple give it a go, a couch for the hubby (as usual), and the
other for his wife. Sound like a plan? You could give them a
night's rest on the ones each chooses. Not only could they see
if they liked them, but also if their muscles found the furniture
compatible, too. The next morning, the couple would agree to
buy you, the store owner, coffee and an extra big donut. Now,
how is that for a plan???
Paul J. Volkmann
Written: September 30, 2009
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