|
Not "I"
Off the Wall
Feb 2, 2012
I was sitting
in a waiting room recently when I couldn't help but hear a conversation
among a number of people several seats away from me. I can't
recall exactly what the subject was, other than to say one person
pretty much spoke more than the others.
For reference sake, I will call the woman, Bessy. The other two
people we'll call George and Mildred. The mock correspondence
went like this:
"Awhen was your appointment for?" Bessy addressed Mildred.
"2:30," she said.
That was all Bessy needed. "You know, I have come to this
place time and time again, and I always had to wait. I really
don't like to do that because I have other things to do. I have
to get the dinner on for my husband and my kids will be coming
home from football practice and they will need me there to fix
something to eat as well. My dad used to come here a long time
ago. I thought I'd follow in his footsteps and patronize this
place of business. I mean, you know I really like these people,
but I only wish they'd hire more people, do you know what I mean?"
If I were the other folks, what would you have done? Don't people
like Bessy realize that each of us, stuck in the same predicament,
have a life, too? The whole thing is mentally draining, if you
ask me.
Wouldn't it be far more beneficial if one is delayed in a doctor's
office, tire shop or mechanics' waiting room to ask other people
what their preferences are or their likes or dislikes rather
than dwelling on egotistical comments?
Wonder upon seeing the people in other seats, Bessy would have
started an exchange of wordings something like this: "Aaren't
we blessed by having a little sunshine peeking through those
clouds today. Say, I see by your hat that you enjoy golf. Do
you get out on a course frequently?" Mildred would then
perk up and speak for both of them. "Yeah, both of us like
to golf and we go out every Tuesday after noon Mass. We like
to celebrate life in all its fullness." Then the conversation
may continue like this - "Oh, where do you go to Mass?"
asks Bessy. "St. Luke's, not far from here in Waukegan.
"How big is St. Luke's." "Ohwe have about 300
families enrolled there, however, not all those who are in membership
attend." "Isn't that the way with all churches nowadays,"
and the conversation went forward on these notes.
Are you beginning to catch on as to the gist of what I was saying
before? Every thought you may not agree with the subject matter,
it is still better to listen to some form of conveyance of thought
rather than to hear one ranting about his or her life as if it
was the only thing that mattered.
Here's a real test. See how many times you can stay clear of
using the word "I" in a sentence. Instead of thinking
of yourself in a conversation, trying always drawing out of the
people around you their feelings and what they are experiencing
at the moment.
If, for instance, you are at a funeral home, don't walk up to
a relative and say, "Gee, I haven't seen you for a long
time Dorothy. I sure missing seeing you around town." Instead,
upon seeing the deceased sister-in-law, state, "Dorothy,
you have my heartfelt condolences concerning your loss."
"Hey, Pee Vee, I see you are still big on religion."
Rather, "Hey Pee Vee, could you please explain why you find
it so important to have God as a part of your life?"
"Hey Pete, I really eat better than you, you know. I chew
my food slowly and don't gulp it down. And I particularly stay
away from those meds that stop your stomach from making those
acids that digest your food. Overall, I have better habits than
you!"
Wouldn't it be better to comment, "Hello, Pete. Are you
feeling any better? We talked about eating habits last Saturday.
Have you given any thought as to the suggestions?
And last, "I see you got married. I think you made a big
mistake. I got married a long time ago and thank goodness, divorced
my wife. That was the best thing I did." Rather,
"May you both be very happy whatever you do. May you also
always include God as a part of your marriage. He loves you both
more than you will ever know and wants to be a part of your relationship."
Never forget to pray to Him for needs and directions."
In my opinion, "I" tends to irritate. Inquisitiveness
doesn't. Do you agree?
Paul J. Volkmann
Written: October 31, 2011
|