Pee Vee's Writings

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Cut it short

Off the Wall

1/25/07


Last month, I got a follow-up questionnaire in the mail concerning some treatment I had received. After looking over the form, I noticed on the first line after the word treatment were the letters "LES." Now, I know without doubt whatsoever, they did not stand for Latrobe Elementary School. Thinking about it, I would probably rearrange the letters in a little different order to read "ELS." Now, that would make more sense. Then it could stand for Excruciating Lumbar Shot. People have always used letters to abbreviate names, states, expressions, etc. When one is sent an invitation, what are the four letters usually found at the bottom? The answer is "RSVP" which is French and interpreted, "Respond if you please." In other words, if you can make it, let the party know. Been to a get-together where one is asked to BYOB? The request is to "Bring Your Own Bottle." Everyone who has a doctorate in something or specialize in certain fields have letters following his or her name. Examples are "M.D.," "DO," "DPM," "FACP," "D.C," "C.P.A," "D.A," to name just a few. When I worked for a hotel back in the late 50's one of my jobs was chambermaid work. Not only did I have to tidy up the rooms, but replace large towels, wash clothes and toilet paper. I would yell down the hall to my helper, "Need six LTs, four WCs and one TP down here." I could hear the faint cry from the other end of the hall ­ "LTs, WCs and one TP on the way." As I lay in bed recently, an idea struck me. Let's play a little game. I call it, "Let's Make Soup." I will combine ingredients using abbreviations and you guess what they are. The answers will be disclosed at the bottom of the column. First, it is important to find the right-sized pot. Next, pour in some VB, enough to cover at least half the mixture. O always flavors soup. Add C. No soup would be complete without them. I often will combine M and O in the VB and just have that, but soup is so much fun to make, I hate to stop there. Many times I will make BR ahead of time and add it providing body and nutrition. I'm big on B. Usually I put them on my chef salad as well. Sometimes when I have some left over from another meal, I will throw in various shapes of N. I learned that from my mother-in-law. We have different initial approaches. She uses W where I like VB. Just before I ladle it out into my bowl, I add a tad of MD, that little extra touch that adds aroma in addition to taste. Voila! Bon appetite! Talking about cooking, how often does one find under the heading of "Stovetop Directions," for example, use 1/8 tsp. of salt with 3 Tbsp. of another product? Maybe to achieve the serving size, one may need eight oz. of milk or water. All our athletes seem to be categorized according to the positions they play. The Steelers, Ravens or Chargers all have famous QBs (quarterbacks) TEs (tight ends), Gs (guards) and LBs (linebackers). Some syllabic abbreviations are formed from usually initial syllables of several words such as Interpol for International Police. Here are some other familiar letters, many of which are familiar to us. Even though my real name is Paul Volkmann, I am a/k/a (also known as) Mr. Pee Vee. I usually pay my bills ASAP ­ as soon as possible. I found out when filling out applications that some people have NMI, no middle initial. I'm telling you all this FYI ­ for your information. So, did you figure out all the ingredients in my soup's concoction? Here we go ­ I first pour in some Vegetable Broth. I love Onions for flavor. No soup is complete without Carrots. I then throw in some mushrooms. Brown Rice gives the soup body. Beans provide protein. More than likely I will add whole grain Noodles from a previous meal. Last, my mother-in law likes plain Water. I prefer the broth. As for that final touch ­ something which the doctor ordered ­ Mrs. Dash ­ perfecto!!!      

 

Paul j. Volkmann

12/11/06

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