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Floored the pedal
Off the Wall
March 1, 2007
No sooner had I hopped onto my three-wheeled vehicle
than I was making my way down one of the aisles of a well known
area store. This mode of transportation was different for me.
All other times, one would find me pushing a grocery cart or
grasping a number of items until my hands could hold no more.
As my son walked beside, I found it difficult to
catch up to him. He also seemed to be somewhere off in the distance.
But as usual, he would stop, wait and then repeat his escape
once again.
Not only was I finding shopping a little more challenging
considering I was sitting rather than standing, but seeing items
from a whole different perspective. On top of that, I was operating
a battery energized piece of equipment. I had all but given up
the idea that I would be sitting on or in something that thrust
me forward with the push of a device.
Life cannot be defined as being in the fast lane,
as the saying goes. With that unit, the speed may reach one mile
per hour if that. But I was moving forward or backward and I
didn't have to tire my muscles in search of food, light bulbs
or containers, for example.
One thing that caught me off guard was going in
reverse. Not only could I travel virtually at the same speed,
but I had a little extra added treat. As I thumbed the flat button
to put me in that direction, a beeping noise accommodated my
action. All of a sudden, I felt I was standing beside a backhoe
or a cement truck backing in reverse. A sense of power came over
me. "Hey there people. Watch out. The Peev is doing his
thing. Stand aside."
Maybe I should have traveled backwards throughout
the store. Wherever I would go people, I'm sure, would be wondering,
"What is that beeping sound we keep hearing throughout the
store?" I think my neck would get sore after awhile always
looking behind me. And Lord forbid, what would happen if I toppled
a banana rack looking one way and not seeing such a display on
my blind side. And if I kept looking behind me, people could
easily steal my goods out of my basket without me ever knowing
it. Wonder if I had a purse. Snatchers would have a field day
with subjects like me. What would I tell the cops upon their
arrival? "Well, it was like this officer. I floored the
pedal and was racing down the aisle of this market, going one
quarter to one half of a mile per hour backwards when all of
a sudden I turned around and my purse was gone. Lord have mercy.
Who could have ever been so bold in midday as to steal my hand
bag out of that square container without me ever seeing it sure
beats me."
"Backwards?" the sergeant blurted out.
I was hoping he hadn't caught that nine letter
word
Blushing a bit, I had to confess with the
truth. I know someone would eventually catch me at a lie, so
I thought it best to be up front.
All of a sudden I felt guilty even though
I didn't hand the culprit the purse.
"Yes sir," looking smack dab right into
his eyes. Maybe being polite would be a virtue here. I heard
it was always good to show respect and be honest. If ever there
was a place to be so, this definitely was the place.
"Why in God's name would you ever want to drive
full throttle backwards down the aisles of a store such as this,"
he asked me.
I didn't mean to be smart with him, but I again
tried to be polite stating, "Could you please leave God
out of the picture in this case. I didn't do this in God's name.
I did so because I felt powerful driving a vehicle that moved
me with no effort. All I had to do was sit, work two thumbs and
watch and listen. Hearing the reverse tones when I backed up
was an extra added plus."
"But shouldn't you be acting your age?"
he suggested.
I guess I never thought of that doing my moments
of bliss, if I wished to call it that.
Sometimes it's good to do things out of character as long as
no harm is done, right?
Paul j. Volkmann
1/22/07
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