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Come and gone
Off the Wall
July 19, 2007
How many times do we find people entering our lives
only to stay for a short amount of time and then disappear? These
could be boyfriends, girlfriends, neighbors, and friends in general
or even members of the clergy.
In thinking back (and that's quite a ways for this
"old man"), many persons came to mind that made a difference
in my life even though, at the time, I never thought it as such.
When I was very young, I used to pal around with
Danny, a neighbor, who lived just behind our house. Through our
interactions I learned a lot by observations, not only through
his values some of which were different than mine, but what it
was like to be living in a home where the parents were divorced
and his older brother was doing things that didn't quite make
sense as a youngster looking at the life style of a teenager.
In the late 50's, I fell head over heals over a
girl with whom I worked at a hotel in Maine. I don't mind telling
anyone, it was more than infatuation, I believe. I was in love.
It made the summer so much more fun knowing that when I got off
work, I had someone with whom to spend my evenings. It was pure
bliss. But at summer's end we had to part and that was heart
wrenching.
Much happened in the years to come. Social interaction
in high school led to participation in may activities. Through
it, I respected others and they, me.
Four years of college were also times worth cherishing.
Besides working toward two degrees, my socialization with others
would prove to be very educational.
I'll never forget the time the dean of men called
me into his office. That never happens unless one over steps
his bounds or has academic problems. I was in good standing with
the institution, and had reasonably good grades.
So, upon entering his office, he had me set down
in front of his desk. Sitting quietly, he put forth his statement
of inquiry. "You know why you are here, don't you?"
I sat in wonderment. He then sat and stared at me as though he
figured I would have an answer to his rather strange way of asking
a question. After about five minutes, I said, No" followed
by more silence.
He finally spilled the beans. "You are hanging
around with too many girls and I would like it if you spent more
time with guys." I told him I would work on it, and then
I left. Maybe he thought he was doing me a favor. Even though
I was attending a religious institution, I didn't feel he wanted
to hear that God made me to desire women over men, and if I was
to be myself, I should be allowed to do so. Was there a lesson
here?
Talking about God, He has put many people in my
life for a short amount of time, all of whom have taught me something
about life, and then had them move on. That is what life is all
about. Sometimes we get upset that people up and leave us and
we feel short-changed, but maybe lasting relationships were never
meant to be.
While living in Ohio, serving in various capacities,
all those in authority, taught me something that helped make
me establish some of what I am today.
Since returning to my home state, many people have
come and gone, but all have been instrumental in forming my values
in my life, for which I am thankful.
I cannot conclude this column without thanking God
for allowing members of the ministerium who have aligned my thinking
according to God's Word. Even though He put most of the parish
priests in my path for a short time, I am most grateful for their
guidance.
For it must be noted that no one enters our lives
by accident. As hard as it may seem, through times of joy and
discouragement, God does have a plan for our lives. Realize it,
and then take joy that He is in control.
Paul j. volkmann
07/09/07
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